"Your infected cyst is ready in room 1. It looks bad, are you gonna drain it?" It was bad, probably six inches across. These things can get pretty nasty. Imagine the ugliest pimple you've ever seen and then think of the pint of foul smelling cottage cheese mixed with pus inside. Why do these always get scheduled right before lunch? "Yeah, we need to drain it. This is a good procedure for the nurse practitioner to learn how to do, can you call her in?" So with the cyst all prepped and numbed, I was explaining to K, my nurse practitioner, how you have to push down hard right after you make your incision, when the pressure is the greatest, in order to extrude the thing all at once and...BLAMMO! Cheesy, rotting pus all over the walls, the table, and the ceiling. Miraculously, K and I were unscathed. When it was all done, we came out of the room to talk to the medical assistant. "Um, we're not going to want to use that room for the rest of the day."
