Dr. Sour Puss

I was just finishing up my charting on a Friday evening and when I realized I was writing in volume IV of a patient's chart. It's a poor prognostic sign when your medical chart is measured by volume number. This got me thinking about other poor prognostic signs I'd seen recently. It's a poor prognostic sign when your white blood cell count is greater than your hematocrit. It's an especially poor sign if your respiratory rate is greater than your heart rate. We have health questionnaires that we send home to people to fill out before they come in for their preventative visit. Sometimes the forms come back after sitting at the patient's house, reeking of cigarette smoke. These forms then get filed in the patient's chart. It's a poor prognostic sign when your medical chart smells like cigarette smoke. It's a poor prognostic sign when your doctor sends you to a zoo for anything. "Doctor, I've lost 45 pounds and I've hardly had to change my d...

Ok, so I'm running at Green Lake yesterday and I come up to an intersection with a traffic light. The light changes red so I wait patiently, bouncing up and down on the corner. A car starts moving into the intersection, and in the middle of her own green light, she stops and waves at me to cross the street in front of her . Cars behind her are honking and I am using my most colorful language to remind her that she's come to a stop in the middle of an intersection . The light turns yellow and she can tell I am not going to cross in front of her, so she rolls down her window to give me this wounded look as if to say, "How could you refuse this beautiful act of kindness I have offered you" before driving off. Yeah, fuck you, lady. Only Seattle.